Archive for September 2004

nb Tastoma - The Itinerary

09/09/2004 by Mark.Whalley.

nb Tastoma

Unlike most cruise liners tugs, nb Titanic Tastoma does not have a Tannoy system, so I’ve decided to give you the blurb on paper! With only a smattering of Welsh, French and German, I’ll stick as best I can to English.

The itinerary

As I understand it, I will be taking the boat from its current mooring in Oldbury (Titford Pumphouse on Tat Bank) to meet you guys (and gall) at Dudley Port at about 17:00.

With 52’ of boat and a canal that is not so wide, I have no choice but to find a suitable turning point. To do so, I will have moved approaching 200,000 gallons of water (9 locks), travelled along Tat Bank, Titford canal, the Birmingham canal (Wolverhampton Level) doing a U-turn at Factory Junction to return along the Birmingham Level Main Line (M5 only without so much traffic) to meet you at the Ryland Aquaduct. At a maximum speed of 4 ‘lock-miles’ per hour, that’ll take most of the afternoon (let’s hope the sun is shining!).

With you on board we will be continuing along the Main Line (towards Birmingham), turning right onto the Netherton Tunnel branch before entering the 3,027 yard Netherton Tunnel. After exiting the tunnel we will continue along the Dudley No. 2 canal taking a sharp turn at Blowers Green Bridge onto Dudley No. 1 canal. Here we will tackle our one (and only) lock on the journey – the deepest on the BCN (Birmingham Canal Navigation). Shortly afterwards (in boating terms that’s probably 20 minutes), and before we get to the Nine Locks bridge (for which there are only 8 locks!) we will arrive at our destination – the Waterfront at Merryhil.
 

How to find me

I believe you are all availing of the local Taxi firm to get to Dudley Port. Although most Taxi drivers will not know the Ryland Aquaduct, they should have at least heard of Dudley Port train station. The Aquaduct and train bridge are alongside each other crossing the A461 between the Burnt Tree roundabout and Great Bridge. Before turning into the road leading to the station and car park, get out of the taxi under the two blue bridges (the first is marked ‘Ryland Aquaduct’, the second I think is marked ‘Dudley Port’). Cross the road (to be the opposite side to the station) and up the 38 steps (yes sad that I am, I counted them this morning!) leading up to the Ryland Aquaduct - taking a deep breath at the bottom steps as this has clearly been used as a ‘public inconvenience’. At the top of the steps you will find the Birmingham Main Line. As there are likely to be thousands of boats on the Main Line at that time of day (rush hour), I will try to park moor along the bank side. If I cannot find a space, I will double park until either you arrive or I get moved along!


How to contact me

My mobile is 07702 36 26 26. However, I do not have a hands free kit, so will not be able to answer when ‘driving’ ;-) Before I disappear (lunchtimeish) could I please have a couple of your numbers?
 

Safety on board

As I don’t want to be accused of wiping out the whole npower DBA Team, and I’m not sure my Public Liability Insurance would cover me anyway, I thought I’d point out a few (possibly obvious things) for those who have not been on a narrow boat before! The boat may be relatively large (or at least long), but I have never taken more than 10 people on board at one time. So getting up to 20 on will, to say the least, be interesting! With 35 tonnes of boat adding 20 x adults should not present too much of a problem. However, I would ask that you board slowly and carefully making sure you don’t all stand on one side! I suggest we keep boarding until you are either all on board or the water starts to lap around your feet! Last night, with a combination of removing ballast and other ‘heavy’ items, I managed to gain at least 6” out of the water. I did try to reduce the ballast even further by drinking all the beer, but had to give up after 10 pints!

When on board, sit, stand or lie wherever you can find a space. If you do end up on the roof, watch out for the low bridges – especially if you are facing backwards!

The tunnel, all 3,027 yards is unlit, and although quite wide (two boats can pass each other), and straight, is not very easy to steer. As a result, we may occasionally touch the sides. Therefore, may I suggest not dangling your arms (or any other part of your anatomy) over the side, for fear of losing something! On the plus side, should anyone fall overboard in the tunnel, there are towpaths along both sides (unlike some tunnels that have none!).

The only other potential hazard (IMHO) is the one and only lock. The lock is quite narrow (and obviously deep). Again, no dangling things over the side! With only one plaster and my First Aid skills being a little rusty, I don’t fancy sewing back anyone’s fingers, arms etc.

If anyone would prefer to not stay on board when going through the lock, please let me know before hand and I’ll drop you off before entering the lock. If anyone has handled a lock before, again, please let me know, as an extra pair of hands makes it a bit safer (and easier).

When in the lock chamber, water can sometimes seep from the lock sides – if you are not inside the boat, watch for the water running down your back! Also, as the walls are usually pretty grimy, be careful not to touch the sides – especially if kitted out in your finest evening ware!

As I do not have a radar detector, if anyone spots a speed camera, please let me know. Likewise if those at the front bow spot any Black Country hippos, give me a yell, as I try to avoid them if I can. In the event that we do pick up a spare shopping trolley, bicycle, carpet, rope, tyre or other jetsam, I may have to stop the boat to remove it. This usually does not take long, but you have been warned!

Knowing how thirsty you may become, and with the tight itinerary we have to keep, AuvergneITC (my ltd company) has dug into its pockets and supplied some beers, wines and spirits nibbles. As I have enough to do keeping the boat afloat in a straight line, I trust you will all help yourselves.

The only downside with drinking all the booze, is that I only have one toilet – a Thetford cassette. It does not take a degree in astro physics (or indeed mathematics) to work out that the volume of liquid supplied will not all fit into the cassette. There are no public conveniences along the route (AFAIK), and I believe we will have (at least) one young lady on board, you would therefore have to ‘hold on’ ‘till we get to the Waterfront!

And finally, in the unlikely event that we have to abandon ship, I operate the following rules. Women and children will be evacuated first, followed by the male passengers. The female crew will then disembark followed by the male crew. Only when everyone else has been evacuated will the Captain leave the ship boat. So, when I run past you all, running and screaming, you may presume the rank of Captain!

 

Bon voyage

Mark

 

 

 

 

 

 

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